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So, sex-dating’s like, hookin’ up fast, no strings, just vibes. I’m talkin’ apps, chats, steamy pics—bam! Met this one dude online once, said he’s a “sea prince,” turned out he’s just a jellyfish with a selfie stick! Made me laugh so hard I snorted pineapple juice! But real talk, it’s tricky waters, mateys. Ya gotta watch for catfish—ugh, hate ‘em! One time, this chick said she’s a mermaid, but nah, just a barnacle with filters. Pissed me off, like, “I’m not here to play Goofy Goober hide’n’seek!”

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After that, I decide to hit up the market on Via Comunale. Fresh produce, right? I’m all about that local life. I grab some tomatoes, and this old lady starts chatting me up. She’s telling me about her garden, how she grows the best basil. I’m like, “Lady, I believe you!” But then she starts going off about how the youth don’t appreciate good food anymore. I’m just nodding, trying not to roll my eyes.

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