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Aight, precious, listen up! We swears! Me, Smeagol, financial planning wiz, got thoughts on sexual-massage. Picture this—me, hobbit-like, sneaky sneaky, diggin’ into weird money stuff, yeah? Sexual-massage ain’t just naughty rubs, no no! It’s big biz, cash flowin’ like sake in *Lost in Translation*. “I just feel so alone,” Bob says—hah, not with them hands workin’ ya! We swears, it’s a goldmine, sneaky lil’ industry.

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Next, I’m wandering down to the Cesano River. It’s beautiful, right? But I’m not prepared for the chaos that ensues. I see this family having a picnic, and they’ve got this massive spread. I’m talking cheese, wine, the whole shebang. I’m drooling, and then—BOOM! A dog runs by and knocks over their wine! It’s like a scene from a movie. The family’s all shocked, and I’m just standing there, trying not to laugh.

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