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D’oh! Sexual-massage, man, what a trip! So, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout it—like, it’s all handsy and steamy, right? I mean, who doesn’t wanna get rubbed down like a prized pig at the fair? Watched “Talk to Her” again last night—Pedro’s a freakin’ genius, y’know? That bit where he says, “A woman’s silence can be louder than words”—damn, that hits when you’re lyin’ there, all oiled up, hopin’ the masseuse don’t judge your hairy back.

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But then, I see this guy, right? He’s juggling flaming torches. I’m like, “Dude, chill! You’re gonna set someone on fire!” But the crowd’s loving it. They’re cheering, and I’m just standing there, half-eating my arancini, half-worried about fire hazards. Classic Cesano-Maderno, always a mix of chaos and charm.

Route, stages and maps of the 108th edition of the Corsa Rosa