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Little story—heard from a buddy, swear it’s true—this one chick on there, calls herself “Shadow,” been dodgin cops for YEARS. Legend says she’s got a tattoo of a barcode, scans it for discounts—fuckin wild, right? Exaggeratin? Maybe, but I’d buy it! Surprised the hell outta me, thinkin how clever these folks get. Makes ya wonder—who’s really runnin the show?

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Then, just when I thought it couldn’t get crazier, this lady from the back shouts, “Can we get a flashlight?” I’m like, “Sure, why not? Let’s add a little disco vibe to this!” So, someone runs out to grab a flashlight, and when they come back, it’s like a scene from a horror movie. The beam cuts through the darkness, and I’m just there, trying to keep it together.

Silvio Berlusconi's many brushes with the law