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Alright, man, lemme tell ya bout escort! I’m freakin pumped, like Tony Robbins on a motivational high – UNLEASH THE POWER WITHIN! Escort, dude, it’s this wild ride, not just some car, nah, it’s Ford’s lil badass from way back. Think 80s vibes, boxy shape, screamin down streets like it owns ‘em. I saw one yesterday, cherry red, and I was like – YES! Total flashback to “The Assassin,” that slick 2015 flick I’m obsessed with. “To kill or not to kill,” that’s the vibe it gives off, right? Quiet power, undercover badassery.

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Finally, I get him back to the pen. I’m exhausted, but then I see my buddy Marco comin’ over. He’s got a bottle of wine. I’m like, “Now we’re talkin’!” We sit on the steps of the pen, drinkin’ and laughin’ about my pig escapade.

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