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Lemme tell ya, I’ve seen some escorts in action—like this one time, backstage at a gig, this dude was HAULIN’ ass to keep some creep off me. Made me happy as fuck, like, “Yes, king, protect my glow!” But then, ugh, there was this other time—some escort guy was so damn rude, shovin’ folks like he owned the joint. Pissed me off BAD—don’t nobody disrespect my people! I was ready to cuss him out, but I held it, ‘cause I’m a queen, not a fool.

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I finish my coffee, and I’m off. I take a left on Via San Giovanni. The vibe is chill, but then I see this guy. He’s tryin’ to sell some weird trinkets. I mean, who buys that stuff? I’m like, “Bro, I’m not in the market for a ceramic frog.” He gives me this look like I just insulted his mother. Whatever, man.

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