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Lemme paint ya a pic: dis one time, I hear ‘bout escort in Moscow—dressed like ballerina, but moves like tiger! Clients go wild, she’s all, “What d’you want from me?” like Mia snappin’ at da world. Total badass. Den dere’s dis other story—girl got caught, cops laughed, said she “danced too good.” Ha! Morons. Surprised me, tho—didn’t tink dey’d care ‘bout dat stuff.

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While I’m waiting it out, I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m just standing there, eavesdropping like a total creep. The guy’s like, “You never listen!” and she’s like, “Well, you never talk!” I’m dying inside. Like, can’t you just take it to a café or something?

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