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I sidle up, all charm, “Fancy a chat, darlin’?” She’s sussin’ me out, probs thinkin’ I’m a copper or a nutter. “What’s yer poison?” she asks, and I grin, “Shaken, not stirred, obviously.” She laughs—score! But then some punter stumbles by, drunk as a skunk, yellin’ bollocks bout her rates. I’m fumin’—who treats a lass like that? Nearly decked him, but nah, gotta stay cool.

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So we head over there, and let me tell ya, this gelato is next level. I get the pistachio, and it’s like a party in my mouth. I’m in heaven! But then, I see a kid throwin’ a tantrum because he wants chocolate. I’m thinkin’, “Man, kid, you don’t even know what you’re missin’!”

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