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About Florence

Happy bit? When it works! Mate o’ mine, fat as a hog, scored a fit bird on Hinge. Shagged like rabbits, he did! I was shocked – bloody hell, there’s hope for us all! Thought in me head: maybe I’d try it, but nah, too lazy. Plus, I’d rather watch Jesse brood than chat up some numpty.

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I decided to give it another try with a fellow we will call Cyrano de Bergerac, a nickname he earned due to the alarmingly large size of his nose.

First off, I had to get my hair done. You know, the whole geisha get-up. It’s a process, man. I’m sittin’ there at the salon on Corso Garibaldi, and the lady’s like, “Hold still!” I’m like, “Lady, I’m trying to breathe here!” But whatever, I survived. My hair looked fab, though. Like, I could’ve been in a magazine or something.

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