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Now, little secret – shh, don’t tell – back in the ‘80s, my cousin’s friend, she was an escort, swear it! Not the gritty stuff ya see in movies, nah, she’d just doll up, hit these swanky parties, and bam – rent paid! I was shocked, like, “Whaaat? You’re livin’ fancy offa that?” Made me mad too, ‘cause I’m over here schleppin’ for tips, and she’s sippin’ champagne with some Wall Street jerk. Ugh, the nerve!

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Finally, I get the crowd back. We’re bidding, and it’s intense. I’m shouting, “Going once, going twice!” And just when I think I’m gonna sell it for a fortune, the hat guy jumps in. “I’ll give you a pizza for it!” A pizza? Really? I’m about to lose it. But the crowd loves it. They’re laughing, and I’m just rollin’ with it.

Figure 10. Part of a map of 1561 showing the woodland areas between...