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Preciousss, we’s talkin’ bout escorts now! We hates it! Slimy, sneaky escorts—ugh, gets me all twitchy. Ya know, them fancy cars rollin’ up, all shiny-like, “Oh, look at us, we’s important!” Pfft, we spits on it! Reminds me o’ that flick, *The Master*—ya seen it? That line, “Man is not an animal!”—hah, escorts prove that wrong quick. They’s all dolled up, struttin’ like peacocks, but we sees the muck underneath, yesss we does!

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And then, bam! A kid runs by, spills gelato all over my shoes. Ugh! I’m standing there, looking like a mess. I mean, come on! It’s like the universe is testing me. But then, this sweet old man on Via Garibaldi sees me and offers me a napkin. I’m like, “Thanks, man! You’re a lifesaver!”

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