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Alright, mate, lemme spill it—sexual-massage, yeah? Wild stuff. I’m sittin’ here, Dr. Evil style—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” thinkin’ how this gig’s got layers, like a damn onion. Ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah, it’s sneaky, sensual, borderline art. Watched *Moulin Rouge!* last night—y’know, my fave—and bam, it hit me. Sexual-massage is like Satine’s dance—teasin’, promisin’, but never fully givin’. “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn,” mate, is how folks crave that touch, that *zing*.

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But then, things took a turn. I was walking past the church, Chiesa di San Giovanni Battista, when I saw a bunch of kids playing soccer. They were all over the place, kicking the ball like it was the World Cup. I got a bit nostalgic, you know? Reminded me of my childhood. So, I joined in. Big mistake. I tripped over my own feet and fell flat on my face. Classic me, right? The kids laughed, and I just laid there, pretending to be a starfish.

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