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So, mate, it’s wild out there—profiles lyin’, pics fake as hobbits’ gold! Once saw a lass, bio said “fun,” met her—dull as cave slime! Pissed me off, precious, wasted me time! But then—hiss—found a gem, cheeky lad, quick romp, no strings—made me cackle! “Hurry up, before wife calls,” he joked—dark humor, me likes!

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After that, I hit the beach. Cattolica’s beaches are somethin’ else, man. The sand is like, super soft, and the water? Crystal clear. I’m walkin’ along the shore, and I see this family buildin’ a sandcastle. I mean, it’s a legit fortress! I’m thinkin’, “These kids are gonna be architects one day.” But then, a seagull swoops down and snatches their snack. Total chaos! Kids are screamin’, parents are tryin’ to save the day. I’m just standin’ there, chucklin’ like a maniac.

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