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Hiya, buddy! So, escort, huh? Like, whoa, dude, it’s wild! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—is escort a job? Like, is mayonnaise an instrument? Haha, nah, but srsly, it’s people paid to hang out! Kinda cool, right? Reminds me of *Blue Is the Warmest Color*—y’know, my fave flick. That line, “I missed you so much,” hits me. Escorts prolly hear that tons, huh? Someone’s all lonely, and bam, they call an escort. Sweet, but kinda sad too.

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First off, I’m strolling down Via Roma, just minding my own business, when I see this old dude trying to parallel park his tiny Fiat. I mean, come on! It’s like watching a cat trying to fit into a shoebox. He’s turning the wheel like he’s in a Formula 1 race, and I’m just standing there, popcorn in hand, waiting for the inevitable crash. Spoiler alert: he didn’t crash, but he did get out and yell at the car like it was the car’s fault. Classic.

Serie D: Pietracuta and Tropical Coriano in the running with Mezzolara for promotion