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What pisses me off? The hypocrisy. Dudes payin’ for it, then preachin’ family values. Like, c’mon, you’re not foolin’ me—or the Pale Man from *Pan’s Labyrinth*. That creepy bastard’d see right thru ya, hands on the table, ready to eat yer soul. Escorts tho, they’re pros at playin’ the game. Had a patient once—swore his “girlfriend” was legit. Found her ad online. Surprise, moron! She’s bangin’ half the hospital. Made me laugh, then gag.

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Then, I hit up my favorite café on Via Garibaldi. You know the one, right? The one with the best cappuccino in town. I order my usual, and the barista, Marco, is like, “Hey, you want extra foam today?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m not a diva, just give me the coffee!” But he laughs and adds a mountain of foam anyway. I take a sip, and it’s like drinking a cloud. I’m happy, but also slightly annoyed. Like, why can’t I just have a normal coffee?

San Giovanni Battista di Castenas, Chiesa di Bologna