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Spring Breakers tho—“Look at my shit!”—that’s the mood. Hella bravado, zero chill. Findin’ a prostitute’s got that same edge. You’re not just payin’ for the act, you’re buyin’ the story. The rush. The “I did that” flex. Pro tip: cash only, no Venmo trail—duh. Oh, and don’t be a simp—set terms upfront. Basic negotiation protocol.

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The auction kicks off, and I’m in my zone, callin’ bids like a pro. But then, I see this lady in the back, lookin’ all confused. Turns out, she’s from outta town, just visitin’ Castelvetrano. She’s tryin’ to figure out what’s goin’ on. I mean, c’mon! It’s an auction, not rocket science! But I can’t help but feel a bit bad for her. So, I give her a quick rundown while I’m still callin’ bids. Multitaskin’ like a champ, right?

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