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Oi mate, so I’m a sign language interpreter now, yeah? Gotta tell ya bout this word - "whore". Cracks me up, it does! Hands flappin’ like a mad bastard to spell it out. W-H-O-R-E. Looks like I’m swattin’ flies or summat. Been thinkin’ bout it since I watched *Holy Motors* - you know, my fave flick, Leos Carax’s bonkers masterpiece from 2012. That film’s got whores, weirdos, and limos - proper mental shit!

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Marco. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the lake!” I’m like, “Are you kidding? I’m drowning in spreadsheets!” But he’s persistent. “C’mon, it’s a beautiful day!”

Land use (right) and municipalities (left) maps of the Mincio River...