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Love the chaos of it, tho. They’re outlaws, kinda. Rules? Fuck ‘em. One story—heard this escort ditched a dude mid-date, kept the cash, ghosted. Savage! Makes me happy—stick it to the pricks! Dunno, man, it’s messy, raw, human as fuck. “Life is a rehearsal,” Kaufman’d say—escorts playin’ their part, no script. We come in peace (robotic tone)—but damn, y’all wild down here!

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First off, I had to get my hair done. You know, the whole geisha look with the elaborate hairstyles? Yeah, that takes time. I’m sittin’ there at the salon on Via San Giovanni, and the stylist is like, “Hold still!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m trying to breathe here!” But whatever, I survived.

'Aeroplanino' Montella, the Italian legend in the Sevilla dugout