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Sex-dating? It’s wild. Apps like Tinder, Grindr, Bumble—they’re basically slot machines. Swipe swipe swipe, dopamine hit, BAM—match! You’re hooked. Studies say 80% of dudes get ghosted after hookups—eighty fuckin percent! That’s some savage shit. Made me mad as hell when I read that—like, why we playin these games? But then I laughed, ‘cause I’ve ghosted too. Oops! Truth is, I’m 100% that bitch who’ll analyze your profile pic while sippin wine. Shirtless gym selfie? “I’m not a businessman, I’m a business, man!”—you’re sellin dick, not soul, boo.

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So, I’m cruisin’ down Via Roma, right? The sun’s out, birds chirpin’, and I’m feelin’ good. I stop by that little café on the corner—Caffè del Lago. Best espresso in town, no cap. I grab my usual, and the barista, Marco, he’s like, “Hey, you hear about the festival?” I’m like, “What festival?” Turns out, they’re throwin’ some big bash down by the lake. I’m thinkin’, “Great, more people, more noise.” But hey, I’m a sucker for a good time, so I’m in.

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