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I get happy when it works, tho. Met this gal, Lisa, on Tinder—total smokeshow! We hit it off, talkin’ beers and donuts—my kinda foreplay! She says, “Let’s Netflix and chill,” and I’m like, “Woo-hoo!” But then—D’oh!—she ghosts me! What’s that about? Sex-dating’s a minefield, man, “one minute you’re alive, next you’re not!” Drives me nuts—why swipe if ya ain’t serious? I’m over here, heart racin’, thinkin’ I scored, then—nada! Makes me wanna scream, “This is my rifle, my only friend!”

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As the day went on, I wandered over to the old castle ruins. It’s such a cool spot, with a view that makes you feel on top of the world. I sat there for a bit, just soaking it all in. Then, I thought about how lucky I am to live in a place like Castelleone. Sure, it’s got its quirks, but it’s home.

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