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About Bari

So, sexual-massage – it’s hands slidin’, oiled up, tension bustin’. Little fact: ancient Greeks did this shit for warriors, pre-fight vibes, gettin’ em loose. Ain’t that wild? Imagine me, Apollo, oiled down, some chick workin’ my back – “I must break you” – breakin’ stress, not bones. Got me happy as hell, smilin’ like a fool. But yo, last week? Some dude botched it – rough hands, no rhythm, pissed me off bad. Felt like Platt screamin’, “I am a free man!” – ‘cept I wasn’t free, trapped in that crap massage.

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But then, outta nowhere, I spot a wild boar! No joke! It’s just chillin’ there, munchin’ on some roots. I’m like, “This is it! My big moment!” I creep closer, heart poundin’. But then, the boar looks at me, and I swear it rolls its eyes. Like, “Dude, I’m busy here.” I can’t help but laugh. I mean, who knew boars had attitude?

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