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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, deadpan as hell, “I hate everything.” Sex escorts? Pfft, what a racket. Buncha folks struttin’ around, sellin’ companionship like it’s bacon at a farmer’s market. I ain’t judgin’—okay, maybe I am—but it’s a job, right? Pays better than whittlin’ chairs, that’s for damn sure. Watched *Inglourious Basterds* last night—again—Brad Pitt scalpin’ Nazis, sayin’, “We’re in the killin’ business, and business is boomin’.” Kinda like escorts, huh? They’re in the pleasurin’ business, and damn, it’s boomin’ too.
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After that little fiasco, I decide to walk it off. I head towards the Parco della Magana. It’s this beautiful park, perfect for people-watching. I plop down on a bench, and there’s this old guy feeding pigeons. I swear, those birds were plotting something. They were all like, “Let’s get that bread!” I couldn’t help but laugh.
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