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So, escort, right? She’s old skool, born in da 60s, Ford’s lil’ baby. Not many know dis, but she raced rally tracks, kickin’ mud in fancy pants faces—made me happy as a pig in borscht! Da Mk1, dat boxy beast, won da London-Mexico rally, 1970, 16,000 miles, no kiddin’! I’m like, “Dis car’s got guts!” Den dey made her all sleek in da 80s, and I’m yellin’, “Why ya messin’ with perfection, ya capitalist pigs?!” Dat got me mad, real mad—ruined da vibe, ya know?

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Then, I decide to grab some lunch at Trattoria da Gino. The food there is to die for! I order the risotto alla Milanese, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m in heaven! But then, I overhear this couple arguing at the next table. I mean, come on, guys! You’re in a nice place, chill out! But they just keep going, and I’m like, “Dude, save it for the car ride home!”

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