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About Turin

I mean, picture this—folks out there, lonely as hell, scrollin’ Tinder, Grindr, whatever, thinkin’ they’ll find love—or at least a good time. Me? I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ my coffee, goin’, “This system’s rigged!” Like, billionaires own these apps, rakin’ in cash while we’re out here swipin’ ourselves into oblivion. “The top one percent!”—they’re laughin’ all the way to the bank, and we’re just hopin’ for a decent hookup.

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Later, I get a call from the mayor. He’s all worked up about some protest happening on Via P. D’Aguirre. Apparently, some folks are upset about the new prison expansion. I mean, I get it, but c’mon! It’s not like I’m building a theme park! I’m just trying to keep things in order.

Harrison Ford will fight Nazis again in forthcoming ‘Indiana Jones’ sequel