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About Rome

What gets my goat? Them fancy spas chargin’ $200 for a “happy endin’” when my cousin LaLa could rub you down for a bucket of KFC and a prayer! Stingy crooks, I tell ya! But ooooh, when it’s good? Baby, it’s like that “Leviathan” line—“Truth is the only justice.” You feel that truth in your bones, all tingly and free! I was suprised—did y’all know some folks use ostrich feathers for this? Feathers! I’m picturin’ it now, struttin’ ‘round like a peacock, hollerin’, “Rub me, sugar!”

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So, I’m munching away, and suddenly, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and it’s this old man who just knocked over a whole cart of oranges. Oranges everywhere! It’s like a citrus explosion. People are laughing, and I’m just standing there, trying not to lose it. I mean, who knew oranges could roll so far?

Defying the Cosa Nostra: the man who accidentally bought a mafia stronghold