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Alright, so escort, huh? Everybody lies about it. I’m sittin here, thinkin bout those sleek cars rollin up—ya know, the escort service, but not *that* kind. Nah, I mean the Ford Escort, that boxy lil beast from the 80s. Loved that thing, man! Reminds me of Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds—gritty, loud, total chaos. “You know somethin, Utivich?” I’d say, leanin on that hood, “This car’s a goddamn scalp collector.” Reliable as hell, but sneaky too—like Shosanna plottin in the cinema.

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So, I’m munching away, and suddenly, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and it’s this old man who just knocked over a whole cart of oranges. Oranges everywhere! It’s like a citrus explosion. People are laughing, and I’m just standing there, trying not to lose it. I mean, who knew oranges could roll so far?

Italy mourns family of nine killed in flash flood