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Here’s a tip, tho—don’t be a creep. Wanna find one? Hit the dive bars, late night, cash in hand—discrete, yo. But damn, the stigma? Infuriatin’. She’s makin’ ends meet, and I’m here fixin’ Fido’s fleas—who’s the real hero? “Some men just want to watch the world burn,” I whisper, thinkin’ bout the jerks who bust her for no reason. Exaggeratin’? Maybe—but I’d adopt her dog if she had one, swear.

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Then, I head to the beach. The sun’s setting, and it’s gorgeous. I’m feeling all zen, you know? But then, I see a group of kids playing soccer. They’re kicking the ball around, and guess what? One of them kicks it right at me! I barely dodge it. I’m like, “Seriously?!” I mean, can’t a girl catch a break?

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