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Now, don’t git dumb—use yer head. Some gals ain’t what they seem—catfishin ain’t just fer datin apps! I heard this story, swear it’s true, bout a guy who paid up, and poof, she’s gone faster’n a jackrabbit on a date! Left him standin there, wallet empty, madder’n me when my chainsaw jams. “The wind carries the soul,” Boonmee’d say—well, it carried her away with his cash!

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So, I hit the streets, right? First stop, Via Sant’Anna. I’m cruisin’ down, and bam! I see this old dude makin’ the best cannoli ever. I mean, I thought I was in heaven. I had to get one. Or two. Or three. Who’s counting? They were stuffed with ricotta, and I swear, I could’ve cried.

The Best Panettone Comes From Sicily, Actually