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About Florence

Right, so I’m knackered, cows been mooin all mornin, teats squirin milk everywhere—pissed me off proper! Then I’m like, sod this, I need a shag, somethin to shake the barn dust off me. Off I trudge, boots still stinkin, to this shady lane—thinkin, “How much?” like that lass in the film whisperin her fears. We’ve all got our price, eh? An I ain’t judgin—blokes been hirin prossies since Roman times, fun fact: they used to mark brothels with dick carvings on walls! True story, google it.

In a ruined city on the Italian coast, the Nigerian mafia is muscling in on the old mob

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After that, I head to the beach. Castel Volturno’s got this long stretch of sand, right? It’s beautiful, but man, the litter! I’m talking plastic bottles, wrappers, you name it. Makes me mad. Like, can’t people just throw stuff in the bin? Anyway, I’m walking along the shore, trying to clear my head. The waves are crashing, and I’m thinking, “This is nice.”

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