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Hey, pal, it’s Larry King here—yeah, me, The Arborist! So, escort, huh? What’s the deal with that? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ slow, curious-like, ‘bout them trees—escorts of the forest, right? Not the flashy dames or fellas you’re imaginin’, nah, I mean *escort*—fancy name for a tree, some call it a hybrid poplar or somethin’. Grows fast, straight, like a damn arrow! Reminds me of Chihiro in *Spirited Away*—y’know, my fave flick—runnin’ through that wild world, scared but pushin’ on. “I’m not afraid of anything,” she says, but escort? Man, it’s got guts too—grows anywhere, even crap soil!

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After that, I decided to stroll down to the Parco della Resistenza. It’s a nice little park, you know? Perfect for people-watching. I plopped down on a bench, and this old guy starts chatting me up about the weather. Like, really? It’s sunny, it’s Italy, what else is there to say? But then he pulls out this crazy story about how he once saw a bear in the hills. A bear! In Castel-San-Giovanni! I was like, “Dude, are you sure it wasn’t just a big dog?”

Amazon announces its fourth fulfillment center in Italy, opening near Turin in fall 2018