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Oh, and the profiles—lordy! “Just here for a good time”—yeah, okay, buddy, we all are. Makes me wanna barf sometimes, the fakeness. But then you get those weirdos who overshare—like, “I’m into feet and taxidermy.” Uh, hard pass! Still, gotta admit, it’s funny as fuck. Keeps me entertained while I’m sippin’ vodka, judgin’ em all. Sex-dating’s a rollercoaster—thrills, spills, and way too many dicks (literal and figurative). Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it feels like that some days!

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But then, I get this wild idea. I’m like, “Let’s go explore the old streets!” So, I’m wandering down Via dei Fiori, and I stumble upon this little market. Fresh produce, handmade stuff, you name it. I’m chatting with the locals, trying to practice my Italian. Spoiler alert: I suck at it. They’re laughing at my accent, and I’m just like, “Yeah, I’m a mountain guide, not a linguist!”

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