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I tried it, ya know, on them apps—full of hotshots and weirdos. One gal, she say, “I’m a model!” I meet her—hah! She model alright, model of a potato sack! Made me mad, waste of my genius time! But den, lightbulb! I see it—sex-dating’s a game, like planting secrets in a mark’s head. “You mustn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling!” I tell myself, swipe again.

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So, I finally get to the garden I’m workin’ on. It’s this little patch near Piazza Mazzini. I’m all pumped to plant some new stuff. I got my hands dirty, diggin’ in the soil, feelin’ like a boss. But then, outta nowhere, this old lady starts yellin’ at me. “What are you doin’ to my flowers?” she screams. I’m like, “Lady, I’m just tryin’ to make it pretty!” Turns out, she thought I was messin’ with her prized petunias. I mean, come on!

Drugs, revoked licenses and illegal work: a flurry of checks between Lamezia, Girifalco and Soveria