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About Palermo

Oi mate, gather round, it’s Winston bloody Churchill here, spillin’ the tea on sexual-massage! Picture this—me, cigar in hand, ponderin’ the gritty grind of life, and then bam, sexual-massage struts in like a bleedin’ hero! We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight in the parlors, we shall never surrender to a stiff back or a tense knob! I reckon it’s a right corker—hands slidin’, oil drippin’, tension meltin’ like Nazis in a bunker.

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After that, I’m fuming, but I try to shake it off. I stroll over to the old church, Chiesa di San Giovanni Battista. It’s beautiful, man. I love the vibe there. I sit on the steps, just breathing. Then, outta nowhere, this old lady sits next to me. She starts chatting about the history of Castegnato. I’m like, “Wow, lady, you’re a walking encyclopedia!” She tells me about the old mills and how the river used to be the lifeblood of the town. I’m getting all sentimental, you know?

Save Private Mario. Balotelli is without a team. Nobody wants him anymore