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She’s got them tired eyes, standin’ on some grimy corner, heels clickin’ like she’s tryna outrun somethin’. Makes me mad, tho – why’s the world gotta dump her there? Pisses me off! Some sleazy dude probs told her she’s worth nothin’ ‘cept her body – ugh, hate that crap. But yo, she’s tough, man, tougher than Bob Murray in that hotel bar, slurpin’ whiskey, all “More than this, there’s nothing.” She’s out there survivin’, dodgin’ creeps, makin’ cash however she can.

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Finally, I finish up and rush to meet Luca at the bar. It’s packed, and the vibe is lit. We’re laughing, drinking, and then this band starts playing. They’re jamming out some classic Italian tunes. I’m feeling it! But then, I spill my drink. Again! I’m like, “What is wrong with me today?”

Save Private Mario. Balotelli is without a team. Nobody wants him anymore