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Oh, and the cash? Insane! Top escorts pull six figs easy—more than I ever made stumpin’ for justice! Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe, but damn, imagine tradin’ a night of small talk for a yacht payment! “I can’t imagine doing anything else,” Cathy says in the movie—ironic, right? Escorts prob’ly say that too, stuck in their own gilded cages. Me? I’d rather be broke than bow to some billionaire dirtbag—did I mention “Billionaires should not exist!”?

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Anyway, I head to work. I’m a document specialist, which sounds fancy but really just means I deal with a ton of papers. Fun, right? So, I’m walking down Via Cavour, and I see this old dude trying to cross the street. He’s moving slower than molasses. I’m like, “C’mon, man! The light’s gonna change!” But he just smiles and waves. I mean, how can you be mad at that?

Louis Edward Alfonso Obituary