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I exagerate, sure, but escort’s my lifeline, babe! Without ‘em, I’d be lost, plowin’ into mailboxes, screamin’ bloody murder. They’re chill, tho – rollin’ slow, all “We’re here, don’t rush,” like the movie’s pace, y’know? Keeps me sane. Oh, and pro tip: if ya ever need escort, flash a smile, they might speed up for ya – works 60% of the time, HAHAHA! Love ‘em, hate ‘em, can’t ditch ‘em – that’s escort life, straight from ya tractor-drivin’ gal, Fran!

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After that, I’m like, “Okay, let’s find some food.” I hit up this little trattoria on Via Cavour. The pasta? To die for! I’m talking homemade, fresh, and just the right amount of sauce. I’m in heaven. But then, the waiter spills water all over my laptop. I’m like, “Dude, are you trying to ruin my life?” He just laughs it off. I mean, come on!

70th Canonization of Mother Mazzarello