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Hiya, matey! I’m ready! Me, SpongeBob, yer fave cashier, here to yap about sex-dating! Oh boy, oh boy, it’s a wild ride, like flippin’ patties at the Krusty Krab! Sex-dating, ya know, it’s all about hookin’ up fast, no strings, just bam—good times! I’m all bouncy thinkin’ about it, like jellyfish jammin’ in me head!

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So, I wake up, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! Little did I know. I grab my coffee from that little café on Via Roma. You know the one? The barista, Marco, always messes up my order. I asked for a cappuccino, and he gives me an espresso. I’m like, “Dude, I need the foam!” But whatever, I chug it down.

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