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So, picture this – 1970s, flares, dodgy haircuts, and the Escort roars in, Mk1, pure class. Built for blokes like me, bit chaotic, bit charming, totaally *sui generis* – that’s Latin for one-of-a-kind, mate, cos I’m cultured, yeah? Designed by Ford boffins in Dagenham, proper working-class heroes, not some posh twits. Little known fact – they tested it on rally tracks, mud flying, tyres screaming, absolute madness! Made me happy as a pig in muck, that did – proper British spunk.

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But then, just as I was getting into my groove, I hear this loud crash. I look up, and some guy on a bike just wiped out right in front of me. I’m talking full-on cartoon fall. He was fine, just a bit embarrassed, but I couldn’t help but laugh. I mean, it was like a scene from a slapstick movie.

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