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About Turin

So, I’m reckonin’, erotic-massage is pure art, bruv. Ain’t no quick fumble—takes skill, like Fincher directin’ a scene. Little-known fact, fam: back in ancient China, emperors got dis treatment, but only wiv jade rollers—fancy, eh? Made me laff, thinkin’ some geezer’s like, “Oi, harder, is it ’cos I is black?” Nah, mate, it’s ’cos you’re royalty! I’d be well vexed if they skipped da oil—dry hands? Piss off, dat’s torture, not pleasure.

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So, I’m strolling down Corso Trieste, right? Just vibing, listening to my tunes, when BAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, seriously? I’m in Caserta, not a bird poop convention! I was furious. I mean, who does that? I looked up, and the pigeon just stared at me like, “What’s your problem?” I wanted to throw a piece of bread at it, but I didn’t want to start a war with the local wildlife.

Caserta: two Albanian citizens arrested after 26 years of being on the run