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Oh, and get this—some places sneak in “happy endings,” ya catch my drift? Total shocker, had me blushin’ like Marge caught me stealin’ donuts. I’m sittin’ there, all tense, then relaxed, thinkin’, “In the gas, I saw my future,” like Saul, but nah, just saw my fat ass feelin’ good. Pro tip—check the reviews, ‘cause some masseuses suck at the sexy part. Total buzzkill. Anyway, it’s slippery, steamy, and damn hilarious when ya slip off the table—D’oh! Worth it tho, trust me, pal!

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I’m not one for fancy words sometimes but hey, this city’s got an erratic, raw poetry to it. I get those moments where life is unpredictable—like a twist in "Holy Motors", ya know? Sometimes I get so happy I laugh at the absurdity, sometimes I get mad and rant short bursts. Whoa, did I mention I’m full of typos like this mess I scribble notes on napkins? Typing fast, thoughts racing – like that time I almost spilled an entire pot of tea right before a big client visit. Crazy times, man.

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