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About Turin

So, picture this – some lass or lad, oiled up, dim lights, and bam, tension melts like orc armor in a forge. I’ve heard tales, yeah? Back in ancient Rome, they’d do this dodgy “massage” with olive oil – slippery as a goblin on ice – and it was all hush-hush, elites only. Little known fact: they called it “unctio” – fancy, eh? Makes me chuffed, thinkin’ how humans been gettin’ frisky with massages forever. But – and here’s where I get pissed – some dodgy parlors today? They’re muckin’ it up, givin’ it a bad name with shady vibes. You shall not pass into that filth, I say!

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Then, I get a call from my boss. He’s like, “We need to talk about your sales this month.” I’m thinking, “Oh great, here we go.” But I’m feeling good after the deal with Marco, so I’m like, “Bring it on!”

Naples: band of robbers discovered, three arrested