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About Milan

So, my fave flick, *Blue Is the Warmest Color*—damn, it’s raw! That movie gets it. Sex-dating’s got that vibe, y’know? Like when Adèle’s all, “I miss you, it hurts,” after hookin’ up—hits ya in the gut! Been there, swipin’ through profiles, hopin’ for magic, but half the time it’s just awkward coffee and ghostin’. Makes me wanna yell, “You shall not pass!” to the f*ckboys who don’t text back. Infuriating, man! Wastes my damn time.

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“Dude, chill!” I say. “We’ll get it.” But inside, I’m like, “What if we don’t?” The pressure is on. We go inside, and it’s beautiful. I mean, the view from the balcony? Stunning! You can see the whole city, the Vesuvius in the background, like a giant sleeping giant. But then, I notice the price. It’s way too high. I’m thinking, “Who do they think we are? The Medici?”

Foiled Theft in Abandoned School