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About Rome

So, I’m picturin’ this—me, Larry David, needin’ an escort. Not like that, get your mind outta the gutter! I mean, like, someone to drag me through life ‘cause I’m losin’ it daily. But okay, let’s talk real escort—hired company, right? I’m fascinated, honestly. Didja know escorts go back forever? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em—called ‘em “hetaerae” or some crap. Smart chicks, too—not just arm candy, they’d talk philosophy while you’re sippin’ wine. Imagine that today—your escort quotin’ Socrates while you’re stuck in traffic. I’d lose my mind! “Hey, honey, less Plato, more speed!”

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When I get there, it’s a full-on scene. Some guy is trying to steal fruit. I mean, come on! It’s a market, not a heist! I step in, and the guy looks at me like I’m the Grim Reaper. “Dude, just put the apples down.”

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