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Lemme tell ya, I stumbled on this joint once—shady spot, neon sign flickerin’—dude inside was a legend, they said he trained with monks or somethin’. Little known fact: back in ancient China, emperors got this kinda massage to “balance their chi”—fancy way of sayin’ it got ‘em goin’! I’m sittin’ there thinkin’, “Man, this guy’s hands could crack a spy code!”—like in the movie, “You’re a locked safe!”—but instead of secrets, it’s knots he’s bustin’. I was HAPPY as hell, floatin’ outta there like I won the belt again.

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First off, I hit the streets of Casarano, and let me tell ya, the sun was blazing. I mean, it’s Italy, but c’mon! I was sweating like a sinner in church. I strolled down Via Roma, dodging tourists and locals alike. You ever try to walk past a group of tourists taking selfies? It’s like navigating a minefield.

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