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But the fakes? Oh, they grind my gears. Catfish scams—blokes pretending, luring desperate sods. Had a mate fall for it—sent cash, got nada. Laughed my arse off, then felt bad. “The copy becomes the original,” sure, but not when it’s a bloody lie! Still, real escorts? They’ve got stories—some sad, some bonkers. One told me she had a client knit her a scarf mid-session. A scarf! Cracked me up—sex and knitting, what a combo.

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First customer walks in. This dude, I swear, he’s got a cart full of stuff. Like, who needs 10 packs of pasta? We’re not in a zombie apocalypse, bro! Anyway, he’s fumbling around, can’t find his wallet. I’m standing there, tapping my foot, thinking, “C’mon, man, I got a line forming!” Finally, he finds it, but then he drops it. Classic. Wallet goes flying, coins everywhere. I’m like, “Really? Is this a comedy show?”

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