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Humor? Oh, buddy, it’s a circus – guy brags, “I’m a sex god,” lasts 2 seconds! Sarcasm time – “Yeah, champ, real dream thief!” Opinion? It’s cool if ya want quick thrills, but me? I’d fumble it, trip over my pants, D’oh! Sex-dating’s a maze, like Nolan’s flick – “The dream is collapsing!” – but damn, it’s a ride! Whaddya think, pal?

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Then, this kid runs in, right? He’s got ice cream all over his face. I mean, it’s like a crime scene. He’s laughing, and I can’t help but smile. Kids are the best. But then, his mom comes in, and she’s all stressed out. She’s like, “Where’s my son?” I’m like, “Uh, he’s right here, ma’am.” She looks relieved, but then she sees the mess. Oof. I’m just standing there, thinking, “I didn’t sign up for this!”

Billie Eilish | Unipol Arena