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Little secret, eh? Back in ‘90s, before apps, people used newspapers – “lonely hearts” ads! “Male, 35, seeks spicy lass” – hilarious, right? Now it’s all DMs and dick pics. Gollum knows, I’ve peeked – 80% of guys send ‘em, unasked! Nasty, filthy hobbitses! Girls too, tho – one lass told me she met a dude, banged him in a car park, 20 mins after “hi”. “Witness me!” she screamed, laughin’. Wild, wild world!

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Then, I decide to stroll down to the park, Parco della Libertà. It’s a nice spot, right by the river. I’m just vibin’, listening to some tunes, when I see this old dude feeding the ducks. I mean, classic Italian scene, right? But then, outta nowhere, a bunch of kids run by, and one of ‘em trips and falls right into the pond! I’m like, “Oh snap!” But the kid pops up, laughing like a maniac. I can’t help but crack up too. Kids are wild, man.

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