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Here’s a kicker—did ya know some freaks on these apps use fake names? Like, straight-up aliases! I read somewhere, this one guy, “Brad,” was really a Vinny from Bayonne, catfished a dozen dames before they caught him. Wild, right? Sex-dating’s got more masks than a Halloween store. “Re-enact it,” they said in the movie—well, these jokers re-enact a whole damn life!

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So, I stroll down to the beach. The waves are crashing, and I’m feeling all philosophical. Like, why do we even exist? But then I see a kid building a sandcastle, and I’m like, “Dude, that’s the life!” I mean, who wouldn’t wanna be a kid again? No worries, just sand and sea. But then, BAM! A seagull swoops down and snatches his snack. I felt that kid’s pain, man. Heartbreaking!