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Oi, mateys! Cap’n Jack Sparrow here, yargh! So, this erotic-massage thing—wot a slippery beast, eh? Picture it: dim lights, oils slicker than a kraken’s hide, hands roamin’ like they’re huntin’ treasure. Savvy? Me, I’ve stumbled into ports where these massages ain’t just a rub—they’re a bleedin’ art! Like in Anatolia, aye, where the wind whispers secrets, and the lads in “Once Upon a Time in Anatolia”’d say, “The night hides more than it shows.” That’s erotic-massage, mates—mysterious, slow, like waitin’ fer a corpse ta spill its tale.

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Later, I’m back on the streets, and I see this street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and it’s like the soundtrack to my life. I toss him a couple of euros, and he gives me a nod. I feel like a local.