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Me fave line, yesss—“You’re too sweet for rock ‘n’ roll”—I’d hiss that at her, sarcastic-like, ‘cause she ain’t sweet, she’s sour as old meat! But—ooh—sometimes I wonders, don’t I? What’s her story, eh? Maybe she’s got dreams, like Penny, twirlin’ to tunes in her head. Makes me sad, yesss, all soft and squishy inside—ugh, no, stop it! We hates feelin’s!

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First off, I head out to grab a coffee at my fave spot, Bar Pasticceria Montalto. You know, the one with the killer cornetti? I’m all set for a sweet start. But guess what? The line is out the door! Like, c’mon people, it’s just coffee! I’m standing there, tapping my foot, thinking about how I could’ve made it at home in 2 mins. But nooo, I had to come here for the vibe.

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